Showing posts with label spiritual growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual growth. Show all posts

Friday, May 3, 2013

Running The Distance

I love to compare my relationship with the Lord to my running habits.  In this stage of life, its kind of appropriate.  This week I started running again and it brought to mind several parallels between the two.  



GETTING HEALTHY
Like my faith, I start running because I feel its a good way to get healthy.  The lethargic feeling, the extra padding around my waist, the tighter fitting clothes don't make me feel all that healthy and well.  I want to live and feel better so running is one of the biggest ways I try that. The same goes with the way I live out my faith.  When I am not actively seeking God's heart, I feel lethargic, directionless, and slow when it comes to who I see God as and even more so how i think God sees me. I stop trying. I stop feeling the urge to pursue a deeper relationship with him.  When I start doing the things that bring me back into a true and deep sense of the grace and peace of God I feel more healthy and together.

MOTIVATION
I don't know about you but I have found a dizzying pattern with my desire to run.  I feel the urge to start running again so I plan a day to run.  I am excited about the opportunity and often will guard against anything getting in the way of that run.  But then the day of the run hits and the motivation starts to fade.  The closer I get to the run, the more I don't want to do it.  I will do almost anything to get out of it without it being too obvious.  But in those occasions where I power through the urge to stay at home, I find the run exhilarating and definitely not as challenging as I thought it would be.  So I plan another run and am excited about the next run and the run after that.... but then right before that run, i not longer have a passion or desire to do anything requiring energy.  The same often goes with my spiritual life.  I see the need to grow deeper and I feel the pull of the spirit to learn more, go deeper, love more. So i make a plan. I pray for opportunities.  But without fail, when the opportunities arise I find myself preferring to watch TV, surf the web, or anything really other than that.  Like with running, when i power through the urge to be lazy, i am exited about what i see and what i learn.  Yet the next opportunity comes along and I find myself desiring to do the lesser thing.  I am not saying resting is bad but the absence of pursuit of the Father is not a good thing and I choose most things over Him many many times.


ENDURANCE
When running, I often listen to my body in regards to how long to run, how fast to run and even where to run.  When I am running, I often experience muscle and joint aches.  Most of the time, I am mentally aware enough to run through those aches.  I know my body enough, typically, to know a good pain and a bad pain and when to give in or slow down.  Often times the energy or the breathing is what gets me and many many times I am unaware that I have slowed down, even stopped running.  The initial burn I am aware of. If its a good day I can train myself to think of other things or focus on other areas. But sometimes I will go from a steady run to a walk without even realizing I've done it.  I think the same happens in my relationship with the Lord.  I am moving along, sometimes aware of his presence, sometimes not.  I feel confident, like i can take on the world.  But then I start to lose energy or I feel the pressure of outside sources, or worse, sin (past or present) creeps in and my stamina begins to waver.  If I am lucky, I notice it and begin praying for ways to move beyond the insecurity, the fear, and even the pride. But most of the time, I don't realize how bad things have gotten in my own life that i have completely given up.  Not in a conscious way but in a subconscious way. I no longer am seeking or even desiring a daily life with Him.  I am doing everything in my own energy and my own power which leaves me feeling deflated and exhausted.


RUNNING THE HILLS
Living in a place with lots of hills, I have accepted that in all of my runs I will face at least one hill if not 2 or 3. Some are super steep and others are mid-sized hills.  As you are running, you can typically see the hill coming.  I have this subconscious routine in my head where I decide as I approach the hill what my goal is.  For the smaller to mid sized hills, I typically tell myself to make it to the top before stopping. The speed at which I run the hill is negotiable but running the hill is not.  For the steeper/longer hills, I will give myself permission to stop at a certain point.  The reality though of these hills is that I rarely live up to the plan.  For the smaller/mid-sized hills I get about 2/3rds up and I am toast. I think I can't make it and like above, before i know it I stop mid run.  The issue is that, nothing is broken and rarely do I think I will pass out or die so I know its all a mental game.  This last week, i found myself stopping on a hill and as soon as I was conscious of the stop I said "NO, you have so little distance to go, get your butt up this hill." so I ran it.  I have to have conversations with myself. Sometimes Jillian Michaels is in my ear screaming at me.  These "hills" in my spiritual and emotional life are the hard times.  I am running along enjoying life and then a problem arrises. Sometimes I can see it coming but many times I can't.  If I am lucky enough to see it coming, I make a plan. I think of ways to guard my heart against the attacks I will face.  Ways to punch the doubts and fears directly on so that they don't stop me in my tracks.  Unfortunately though, life isn't always so subtle and the punches come out of nowhere, leaving me feeling winded, frustrated and isolated.  I often stop there in mid crisis and shut down spiritually. I give in to the emotions I am experiencing and let them define me.   Its never really a conscious thing. I don't realize i have gone there until its already there.  

OVERCOMING THE CHALLENGES
Like in running, there are times when you think you can't go any further. You're tired, in pain, and just feel alone.  But something causes you to keep going. Something gives you motivation to run the last bit with more energy than you had the entire run, at least in long distances they do.  The Spirit gives you the extra nudge to jump back into the routine of knowing and seeking the Lord.  You pick up the bible and read with fervor or more simply, you pray for the spirit to give you those things; desire, hope, perseverance.  You run the race for which you started and feel the excitement of getting to your destination.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 
1 Corinthians 9:24

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverancethe race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 
Hebrews 12:1-3

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Shaking Things Up

As growing believers, we all go through dark times.  Times when we feel like the Lord is far from where we are.  For some its filled with doubt, some its filled with anger, some with fear and some its just deafening silence.  I have definitely been in those places.  Sometimes all of them at the same time.  I've really called on God to come through on some things just to feel like I am alone in the silence.  These "things" weren't all together selfish. Some were very real, very deep prayers for my spiritual growth or for other people.  Areas I felt the Lord would be interested in.

Lately, I have really wanted to throw my hands up and say "SHOW UP."  Somewhere deep inside I think I always knew He was there but my faith was waining, my resolve was all but empty.  I couldn't understand why the Lord wasn't revealing himself in more real ways.  I wanted Him to stir my heart. I wanted him to awaken my soul.  Yet, i kept finding myself deeper and deeper in a world without his voice.  



There were some things in myself and in others around me that I knew He needed to change.  I felt strongly, and I thought scripture backed it up, that we couldn't do it on our own, that He needed to be at the heart of it.  Still there was Silence. Nothing.  



I wasn't truly seeking his heart, but I also was in a place where i didn't even know how to do that.  I needed Him to give me a kick in the pants and was fervently asking Him to do it.  I was becoming more and more aware of the fact that I COULD NOT do this on my own and was trusting and hoping he'd come through.



This week, I suddenly started to see just how in motion he was. Thoughts and desires I had were being displayed in very public ways.  The visions of leaders and pastors were, sometimes from the pulpit, expressing the desire for change and renewal that I was desperate for.  Devotions that I had long since given up on were speaking right to the heart of my hopes and fears.  I was getting a tiny glimpse of what God is doing.  He is totally and completely stirring things up.   He wasn't silent before. He was just working in the background, preparing me and so many others for what he was doing in the hearts and lives of the church, the city.



Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Some Goals Are Easier Than Others (and a Giveaway)

Good Morning, my sweet Friends! I hope that your Wednesday is treating you well!  

I accidentally slept in this morning. I got swallowed up into my first book of the year and stayed up way too late.  When my alarm went off instead of hitting snooze,  I hit off.  EEK.  So its been a slow morning.

Speaking of slow.  

As you may have read, I have 13 goals for 2013! You might have read about some of them here, here and here.




I still owe you some posts explaining some of them but I just wanted to update you on the 3-4 I have posted about!

I would love to say that my #1 goal "Working on My Spiritual Growth" and "Finish Reading Through the BIble" were going swimmingly but so far its the one I have failed at the most. I even set smaller goals to help bench mark that growth and I have failed at those too."

I am part of a women's bible study and we are reading through part of the old testament, Genesis through Kings.  So i have the built in accountability but I still am barely doing it.  Still I choose to write a blog post, work out or even surf the web over reading the OT.  Now granted, I am in Deuteronomy so its not the easiest, softest reading I could be doing but still. I am just not making it a priority.  I am trying to have grace with myself but when is the point that you stop having grace and start disciplining yourself.  Sometimes I think that's what i need to kick start something I am having trouble with. 

Getting spiritually healthy is to me the same as getting physically healthy.  Its not something I think I should be taking lightly.  Its not that I think God will love me less or even more by doing or not doing these things. I simply think that my soul, my heart and my mind will be better if I make this a priority so why is it that its easier to add workout routines to my day but not 20-30 minutes with my Lord?  

So that's where I am at with #1 in 2013! The others are going well! But this one is waning! 

Here are some of the other thngs I have been doing
1) finished my first book of the year - Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks
2) Signed up for a half-marathon in Allentown, PA in April
3) Started learning how to Crochet (had to stop because I now have 5 orders in the Etsy que)
4) Sorted through my yarn and donated about 30-40% of it
5) Started setting up my studio (check my etsy site later today for proof of that)
6) Complete 6 workouts last week which included 7.5 miles
7) Lost 4 pounds

Its nice listing out the things I have made progress on. Seeing them on the screen makes me feel like less of a failure (wink wink).

Thanks everyone for humoring me today! I hope you are having a great week.  


Before you leave, enter the giveaway below. I am helping GirlBooklet celebrate 500 followers!

Package 1
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Package 2





Wednesday, January 9, 2013

13 in 2013: Moving Forward & A giveaway

Good Morning my sweet friends.... I simply love that i can call many of you real friends! I've loved how the blogging world has been such a rich blessing of beautiful friends...

Anyway, today i just want to talk about a couple of my 13 in 2013 goals that I set last week. After that, I have a fabulous giveaway as a part of 9 days of health giveaways. 

2 of my goals for this year are 1) Work on my spiritual growth and 2)  Finish reading through the bible.  They really work together as one goal but i needed to differentiate as they can be two separate challenges.

I've talked about my faith and my growth several times on my blog.  Its something that is very important to who i am and how i function day to day yet its always the first thing that suffers when life happens.  My faith as a priority is the first thing that gets ignored.  Its been very evident to me this last year just how asleep and dry its gotten.  The motivation just has not been there.  I can easily find 10 other things to fill my time, my mental energy.  I had a spell this summer/fall when things started to turn around a little. I was reading through the New Testament (for the first time really) and was gleaning so much from that time.  But then we switched to the old testament (which i was super excited about) and then I lost all interest.  It also corresponded with my mom getting sick.  Life was happening and in the midst my desire to really seek the lord had all but vanished.  I was too focused on my environment and trying to make it all make sense that I couldn't/wouldn't trust and lean on the Lord for help, guidance, support, freedom.  I was getting uber frustrated that I "thought" i had a grand desire to go deeper but nothing was happening. the motivation just wasn't there.  

Do you watch the Biggest loser?  Jillian is back. She's the simon Cowell of the fitness world. She's super intense and often just MEAN.  THis time around she seems to be on mean steroids she's so harsh.  As she was yelling at one of her team  members who wasn't doing what she thought was enough, she asked her why she was here and she said she wanted to get healthier and Jillian said "no you don't. You don't want it enough"  I think that is similar to where I am spiritually. I cry, I scream for things to change but when it comes down to making the effort, putting in the hard work of getting healthier I don't lift the fingers. So do i really want it? Deep down, probably but I don't want it enough to do something about it... until now.

So since I am a goal person!  I really do get some kind of charge from it. I thought I'd make it a 2013 goal... it should be a life time goal but that mentally wouldn't work for me ;) One year at a time... hec one day at a time.  I don't know how i begin to measure or even task out this goal. I just know that it has to happen.  So here are some ways that I plan to work on my spiritual growth.  
*Side note- If i am being totally honest, until this post I haven't done any of these things... :/

1) Finish reading the covenant history (Genesis - Kings)
(read 20 minutes a day)
2) Journal more (10-15 minutes a day)
3) Read more spiritually focused books.
4) Work fasting in. (this has been on my mind for over a year but fear, pride and procrastination keep getting in my way)
5) Find accountability

These are just some of the tangible goals. I have a few other ideas floating around but those will wait until I can mentally flesh them out.

One way that I will help keep myself accountable is I plan on writing a post every wednesday based on what I am discovering in God's word. I will hopefully join that up with Into the Word Wednesday.  Its the Old testament so we'll see how that goes ;)

Ok so now to the giveaway.  I've joined up with some amazing ladies for the 9 days of healthy giveaways.  If you missed Day 1 and Day 2, its totally not too late.  I am giving away clean green kitchen items.

I hope you're having fun entering these daily giveaways! I know we're having fun sharing them with you! 
What have you been inspired to do this year that will lead to a greener, cleaner and healthier you?

Today we have another awesome gift up for grabs! Andrea over at A Modern Hippie is here today giving away some really nice Lemon Peppermint Cleaning Scrub! I think this stuff looks amazing and am kind of jealous of the person who will win it! :) 


As you can see, this cleaning scrub can be used on almost anything from your sink, to the tub to counters and more...I'm sure the sky is the limit! And how great will your home smell? 

If you haven't "met" Andrea yet, you must get over to her blog and get to know her. She has a very similar view on all things crunchy that I, Kristina, do and I really enjoy her perspective! Please stop by and say hello and thank her for this great giveaway! 

And if you haven't entered the first two days of this fun fun giveaway, here's your chance! And don't forget to spread the word! :)
  

Happy Entering!


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

13 in 2013

Happy New Year!

How's your new year starting out so far?  Mine has been relaxing!

In 2010 some friends and I did a top 10 in 2010.  10 goals we wanted to reach in 2010.  We helped keep each other keep accountable and then reviewed our progress at the end of the year.  In reality I think we, on average, completed 5 or 6 of the 10 but for resolutions that's probably good.  


This year I decided I wanted to do 13 in 2013 but my goals aren't that big... at least not all of them are.  I am not one for resolutions because I am never good at keeping them but I am going to try at least to make some work this year. 

I'd love to have you join in. What are some of your goals for 13? Whether its 1 or 13, let me know. I'll do my best to check in with you on them.  

My plan is to blog about each of these over the next few weeks, giving you goal markers, explanations, etc.  Some might be combined posts but I should cover each one.

So Here We Go!

3) Run 4-6 races this year (including a half marathon)
4) Read 5 books 
9) Write my first book
10) Build up my photography business
11) Do more New York type things

Ok so these aren't in any particular order except the top one. Its my #1 for a reason.

Stay tuned for the how's and why's of these top 13 goals for 2013
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