Life Giving

I am coming out of a season of dryness, loneliness and disillusionment.  I have spent most of my life wanting.  Whatever my current circumstances are, I find myself wanting something I don't have.  Whether its friends I don't have, a family I don't have, money I don't have, career that I don't have, faith I don't have, etc, I can always identify something that I wish I had.  Rarely do I stop and look at what I do have and how God has blessed me.  I have alot.  Today, I'd like to share with you the things that are life giving for me.  THese are things that wake me up in the morning and give me something to look forward to.

THIS BLOG
Although many days I truly struggle with where I am going with this blog, I do enjoy its role in my life.  I love that its giving me an outlet to write.  My writing is not where I want it but its definitely further along than its been in a long time.  The fact that I am writing in a public forum is a huge deal for me.  Also, the friends I have made through blogging has been amazing and so very encouraging.  I look forward to being more intentional with those friendships that have formed.

MY SHOP 
Over Christmas, my sales had gone up.  It, at one point, was almost overwhelming but it was so much fun.  Its opened up a creative side in me that I look forward to.  I've been exploring new ways to create and sell and its truly been a joyful process. I can't believe God has allowed this to be an outlet for me.  Although this will feel like a shameless plug, I did want to share with you my latest creations. I am deeply proud of these pieces and am just so super excited to share them with you.  There are codes available should you want to purchase them (no pressure). I'd love love love if you tweeted, pinned, facebooked, etc about these new additions. I'll send you a 30%off code if you help plug my shop in 5 different ways. Links are available below if you want to go directly to the shop.

Large-Knit Chunky Wool Blend Infinity Scarf - $14 $12 with Code:LIFE15

Gray, Chunky, Cozy Infinity Scarf/Shaw/Hood - $23 $20 with Code:LIFE15

Misty Wool Blend Infinity Scarf - $25 $22 with Code:LIFE15

Moonlight Wool Blend Infinity Scarf - $25 $22 with Code:LIFE15

Taupe Large Knit Chunky Infinity Scarf  - $13 $11 with Code:LIFE15

MY CHURCH
I recently was able in a place to communicate my needs and desires regarding my role in my church.  For the longest time I held resentment towards where I felt I was and/or should be in regards to my role.  It wasn't until I stepped forward and explained where i was and what i needed that I was able to truly feel connected and at home.  It was such a growing step for me. I finally realized that we can't expect people to know where we are at if we haven't done our part in communicating the need. Now I feel like I am in the right place, doing what gives me life.

MY FRIENDSHIPS
This one, for me, will be harder to articulate because I am still in the process of figuring them out but I will try.  I have a few friendships that I truly feel are God given gifts for me. The kind that I know are perfectly wrapped gifts from God to Me.  They give me life and energy and show me a glimpse of what His love is for his people and for me.  

I also have friendships that I am beginning to see are the other side of that. I know they are gifts from God but intended for the other person.  They are entrusted to me for His glory and not my own.  They require more energy, forethought and trust than the previously stated ones but they are gifts none the same and are precious beyond words.  I am learning more and more each day the value of those friendships.  They bring me outside of myself which, quite honestly, I desperately need.

These are some of the things I am grateful for and feel honored and blessed by God to have them in my life.  What are the things in your life that make you happy, bring you joy or make life worth living?  I dare you to write a post, comment below or tweet out what those are.  Believe me it will open your eyes up to some amazing things if you take time to discover what they are.

The Rentals

If you've been reading my blog lately, you've seen that I am attempting to write more.  I keep saying I am trying to write more creatively but honestly, I am just trying to write more which I hope will then lead to writing more creatively.  I am attempting to create good habits and part of that is making more time to do the things that bring me joy.  Writing is one of those things.  Writing about just anything doesn't always bring me joy but strengthening the muscle of writing does.  

I am using the 30 days of blogging prompts that i stole found over at Covered in Grace.  I told myself I wouldn't go in order but it actually helps to go in order because it takes the stress out of making decisions.

Today's topic: Describe your relationship with your parents.

Writing about this is tricky because I am pretty sure my parents read my blog from time to time. But I guess its a good thing that we have a pretty solid relationship :)

I do have a pretty good relationship with my parents (AKA: The Rentals).  Its getting even better the older I get.  There was tension in my younger years but we all grew up :)  Tee Hee

My parents and I have differing beliefs on many things; Sometimes in politics, many times in religion but at the end of the day our respect for each other is so high that we can look past those differences and see the value in the other.  My parents are very generous, loving and encouraging people.  They are also very patient.  Regardless of how they feel about what you are doing with your time or life, they encourage you to do or be who you are meant to be.  I admire them for the way they love my brother and I! 

I am not sure when the switch happened... you know the one... where they are no longer your annoying parents but people you admire.  Almost all of us deal with it.  Our need for independence builds up a wall even with the BEST OF PARENTS.  We think we know better, they know they know better so there is tension.  I am not sure when it was that I realized that i really like these people as people and not just my parents but it definitely happened.  My first memory of the fruits of that was when they took me to the virgin islands. Just the three of us.  We had so much fun. Yes they spoiled me but it was more than that. I enjoyed my time with them not as parents but as friends. That switch was beautiful for me.  They are still my parents and I still have a respect for them as any child should have for their parents but when I realized that they were also my friends was when the great relationship happened.  

I am very grateful for my parents. They sacrificed a lot for me and my brother including their time, resources and sometimes their emotional wellbeing.  I often feel sad that so many people out there don't have that relationship with their parents.  Not to devalue the life they have but I am so grateful for mine that I wish everyone had the opportunity.

Thanks for stopping by! If you are a new reader, leave your link below. I'd love to check your blog out.

Have a great week everyone!

Fears, Oh My!

In an effort to exercise my writing muscles, I've decided to take on the 30 Days of Blogging Prompts. I got the idea from Brooke from Covered in Grace (30 Days of Blogging Prompts) who got the idea from @ Lashes & Beard. Today I am doing "Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and describe how they became fears."

This one is sort of a struggle to write not because of the fears but because I am not really sure what they are... at least not legitimate fears.

MICE
Sounds silly, right, that I am afraid of mice. Now, I am not afraid of mice that have been pets or caged up. At least I don't think that I am. But I am afraid of the ones who hang out in my kitchen and scurry around in the dark looking for food that is not theirs to eat.

I live in NYC and having mice in your apartment is pretty likely no matter where you live or how clean you are. My last apartment had an infestation. They had done construction on the basement that I think must have stirred up a colony of mice. To top that the apartment right next door had been under construction for the entire 4 years I lived there. So I think they migrated up the 5 flights and decided to make my apartment and that gutted apartment theirs. We had weeks where we saw 1 or 2 a day. Our landlord refused to do much more than give us sticky traps.... so in turn i killed 1 or 2 a day... i am not kidding. So this made me a little jumpy. The straw happened when i was in my room and my hangers started moving on their own. Yes they made it to my room. I moved out soon after. In my current apartment we have had a problem too but not to the extent as before. They show up for a week or so and then disappear for 3-6 months. Its usually a tiny little guy that lives in and on our stove.

Still i am afraid of them. I am more afraid of how sneaky they are. I am afraid that i will step on them or that they will scurry up my leg. Not rational and I know it! Yet I am still afraid.


DEATH OF A PARENT
Over the last few years the reality that my parents are getting older is becoming more real. In the grand scheme of things they are still young. Most people live to be in their 80s but they are reaching ages where the risks are higher and the reality is, well, more real. With my mom's health scare this year, it has become even more obvious that I am not promised to have them forever. The fear of losing them is becoming a daily thing lately. I often find myself wanting to call them every day just to make sure they are OK and doing well. I also find myself wanting to play parent to them. I want to beg them to take very good care of themselves. Not in judgement but purely out of fear that i could one day lose them. I watch my mom struggle with taking care of her ailing mother (95) and hope that I get to do that with her one day. I know that's not ideal for my mom but I hope that I have plenty more years to be with her.


NOT HAVING A FAMILY OF MY OWN
I am turning 37 soon and the reality that I will be single and childless for the rest of my life gets more real every year. I won't go into it too much here but this is an overwhelming fear of mine.  I legitimately want a family. I am not overly proactive nor do I complain about my current status much but it is a fear on mine that is very real.  You can read a little more about this here.

What are some of your fears?  If you've written a post about it, link them up below in the comments section. I'd love to hear them!

Have a great week!

List 10 random facts

In an effort to write more creatively or openly, I am using an idea from Brooke from Covered in Grace, 30 Days of Blogging Prompts who got the idea from @ Lashes & Beard.

So today I thought I'd start with the first one, day 1, "List 10 random facts about yourself."  I don't plan to go in order so just beware :)

So here it goes.

1) I was born in Landstuhl, Germany.  I was an Army Brat! 

2) I have a fairly small family and my parents are still married. I have one brother who is married with 2 kids (16 and 14).

3) I love the experience of coffee.  I love the taste but the experience of a good cup makes me so happy.

4) I have watched Pitch Perfect almost a dozen times over the last month... and I could watch it a dozen more.

5) I am an Apple Girl.  I have 2 Macbook Pros (1 is mine and the other is for work), an iPod mini, iphone, and an ipad.  

6) I can't have a meal without having something sweet afterward.

7) I am amazed at how messy I can be yet I am well known for being able to organize things sufficiently. (when its not my own life)

8) I have a problem with always seeing both sides of a situation. It always leads me to not know which side I land on.

9) I am a romantic at heart and a true softy when it comes to people reaching their dreams... no matter how small they are.

10) I can't stand the sounds people make when they drink or eat. It makes me crazy.

Just a little about me!

Practice Makes Better

One of my goals for 2013 is to write more creatively.  More specifically "8) Write at least one creative post a week."  So far I have failed at that but its still January so I am not a total failure yet (wink wink).

Now in processing what this means, I have had to decide what a creative post means? I think originally it was more creative writing style like fiction, poetry, etc.  I want to hone those skills more.  I truly think practicing your art will make you a more rounded artist.  If i wait until perfect inspiration comes I will never write.  

So, for me, writing at all is a good habit to start. I get so bogged down sometimes by lack of inspiration or the tasks of the day that its just not a priority anymore. So I have decided that writing creatively means writing about anything other than technical things and giveaways or blog hops.  DISCLAIMER - I actually love the technical things, giveaways and blog hops. I seriously enjoy them BUT they are also serious distractions from why i began blogging. I started blogging because I wanted the outlet to write and making it public (though a long process) was necessary for me.  I needed it so that i would no longer be a closet writer and so that i had a community that helped encourage my desires as a writer.  I got caught up in the social politics of blogging but now I want to go back to the reason I started blogging in the first place... to strengthen that writing muscle.  

SO What does that mean?  In our staff meeting yesterday our main administrator posed these three questions when communicating to our parishes. So What? Who Cares? & Why Me?  She stated that we should ask these questions when communicating to our masses.  Bringing this over to my blogging, I want to ask these same questions.  I realize that sometimes when I write, I shouldn't consider these questions because it could stifle the writing process but in the same respect I think they force you to look at what you write about and why and really dig deeper into the why.  So I want to take some time, at least once a week, to write. Just write.  They may be creatively written posts or they may be about life but I will write. 

Brooke from Covered in Grace listed 30 Days of Blogging Prompts this week.  They were realistic yet simple writing prompts.  I hope to use these to help get that writing muscle going.  I won't do them every day but often enough.

Day 1: List 10 random facts about yourself.
Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and describe how they became fears.
Day 3: Describe your relationship with your parents.
Day 4: List 5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self if you could.
Day 5: What are the 5 things that make you happiest right now?
Day 6: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
Day 7: What is your dream job, and why?
Day 8: What are 3 passions you have?
Day 9: List 3 people who have influenced you, and how.
Day 10: Describe your most embarrassing moment.
Day 11: Describe a few of your pet peeves.
Day 12: Describe a typical day in your life.
Day 13: Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
Day 14: Describe 5 strengths you have.
Day 15: If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
Day 16: What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
Day 17: What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
Day 18: What is the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
Day 19: If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
Day 20: Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
Day 21: If you could have 1 superpower, what would it be and what would be the first thing you did with it?
Day 22: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
Day 23: List your top 3 hobbies and why you love them.
Day 24: Describe your family dynamic from your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
Day 25: If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
Day 26: What popular notion do you think the world has wrong?
Day 27: What is your favorite part of your body and why?
Day 28: What is your love language?
Day 29: What do you think people misunderstand the most about you?
Day 30: List 5 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Thanks all for taking time out of your day to read my blog!  

Have a lovely weekend!