If I had to be honest with you, these are a few of things I'd tell you. (In no particular order)
I think I am afraid of heights... or at least of falling. BUT, if you said to me today that you got me skydiving lessons, I'd go in a heartbeat. Going down stairs, though? I am scared to death.I have more, but they were becoming too many to post in one post... so you'll just have to wait.
I really don't like reality TV... not all Reality TV, just the hormone infested, drama kind. If it involves fat people getting thin or dancers dancing then I like it but housewives, bachelor (ettes), real world (that, lets face it, isn't real)...
I HATE being single. I don't complain and I live a life that probably reflects comfortableness, but I really want a family. I want the husband, the children, the house and the dog... I want it! I love my life. I love my roommate. But I really want a family.
I am not a fan of pity parties. (Hence the appearance of comfortableness listed above). The more you wine and complain about how much you hate things, the more I want to walk away from you. I know, I am horrible... Just wait.
I don't like being told what to do. If you tell me I have to do something, I will immediately want to do the opposite. It’s a pride thing, I know.
I cry when I see someone doing something they truly and deeply love. It doesn't matter what it is but when I see that light in your eyes, I cry. Especially if it revolves around the arts, but its not limited to that. Good tears, of course.
I love to create. I love to figure things out and then do my own thing with them. I am not innovative. I can't think of things on my own, but I like to take what other people do and break it down and then try it on my own. I get a weird rush from it.
I don't have it together. I know, that's insane! Its true. I clamber and I trip over myself probably 10 times a day just trying to figure out what I want and how I want to get there just to change my mind 5 minutes later.
I am shy. Strangers freak me out. I don't know how to engage in conversation when I don't know you. In fact, I forget all the normal things to say and do, and I stutter and stammer.... its true... But when I get to know you.... when there is a connection of some sort, I won't shut up.
Believe it or not, I filter about 75% of what I say.... I am sure I have said some stupid, stupid stuff in my life... I mean really moronic stuff. So imagine what would happen if I said everything that went through my head. It would be bad. Even through the filtering, I often still choose the wrong thing. You know I am nervous when I just blurt stuff out.
I have about 5-10 story or blog ideas go through my head a day. I have since I was 11 but my fear of failure, looking bad, rejection, etc keeps me from writing or posting about 99% of those ideas. I am getting better though, hence this blog.
Kim,
ReplyDeleteYou're my hero! I love your transparency. I can relate to all of it. I'm with you on the reality TV thing. I recently said the exact same thing just last week. Anyway, I'm glad I found your blog. It was your "Cheesy Crescent Chicken" that drew me in! Hope all is well with you in NY.
Tom
btw I too have a blog at http://worshipboy.wordpress.com
This is just beautiful. So, beautiful, in fact, that I read it twice.
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