I'll Just Be Honest - Part 1

If I had to be honest with you, these are a few of things I'd tell you. (In no particular order)

I think I am afraid of heights... or at least of falling.  BUT, if you said to me today that you got me skydiving lessons, I'd go in a heartbeat.  Going down stairs, though?  I am scared to death.

I really don't like reality TV... not all Reality TV, just the hormone infested, drama kind.  If it involves fat people getting thin or dancers dancing then I like it but housewives, bachelor (ettes), real world (that, lets face it, isn't real)...

I HATE being single.  I don't complain and I live a life that probably reflects comfortableness, but I really want a family. I want the husband, the children, the house and the dog...  I want it!  I love my life. I love my roommate. But I really want a family.


I am not a fan of pity parties. (Hence the appearance of comfortableness listed above). The more you wine and complain about how much you hate things, the more I want to walk away from you.  I know, I am horrible... Just wait.

I don't like being told what to do.  If you tell me I have to do something, I will immediately want to do the opposite. It’s a pride thing, I know.

I cry when I see someone doing something they truly and deeply love.  It doesn't matter what it is but when I see that light in your eyes, I cry. Especially if it revolves around the arts, but its not limited to that.  Good tears, of course.

I love to create. I love to figure things out and then do my own thing with them.  I am not innovative. I can't think of things on my own, but I like to take what other people do and break it down and then try it on my own. I get a weird rush from it.

I don't have it together.  I know, that's insane! Its true.  I clamber and I trip over myself probably 10 times a day just trying to figure out what I want and how I want to get there just to change my mind 5 minutes later.

I am shy.  Strangers freak me out.  I don't know how to engage in conversation when I don't know you.  In fact, I forget all the normal things to say and do, and I stutter and stammer.... its true... But when I get to know you.... when there is a connection of some sort, I won't shut up.

Believe it or not, I filter about 75% of what I say.... I am sure I have said some stupid, stupid stuff in my life... I mean really moronic stuff.  So imagine what would happen if I said everything that went through my head.  It would be bad. Even through the filtering, I often still choose the wrong thing.  You know I am nervous when I just blurt stuff out.
I have about 5-10 story or blog ideas go through my head a day.  I have since I was 11 but my fear of failure, looking bad, rejection, etc keeps me from writing or posting about 99% of those ideas.  I am getting better though, hence this blog.

I have more, but they were becoming too many to post in one post... so you'll just have to wait.