Last night I was working on a knitting project that i have been working on for a while when the skein of yarn I was using spazed out and I realized I'd have to roll it into a ball of yarn. That happens sometimes with larger skeins. You have to find the other end of the yarn and create a ball of yarn instead. Often times that means stopping what you are doing and sitting patiently as you work the yarn into submission. It takes a patience that not many people have. I somehow gained the skill when I was pretty young. I could sit and unravel chains for hours. The funny thing is, in reality and in life, I don't have that kind of patience... At least I don't think i do. I have a hard time waiting for anything.
I tend to look at life and life experiences (these days) as a child looks at things. I see what I want, I ask for it... demand it and when I don't get it in an acceptable time I whine, cry, complain, sulk and turn to bitterness.
A friend said something in a prayer meeting yesterday that struck me. She talked about how we often approach God. We often approach him like children when maybe we should be grown ups. There is something about child like faith but sometimes in our growth as believers, we should act like grown ups. She talked about the kids she watches and how upset they get when they don't have or know something right away. She talked about how we should trust our parents to give us what we need when its right and not when its demanded. That there is often a reason why we are withheld either in things or in knowledge. Especially as we grow both in life and in faith. Not knowing or having what we want in the moment is part of the process.
Sometimes I complain, stomp my feet, when something I think should be revealed to me is not. I don't understand why God can't just tell me. More times then not lately, I've stomped off to my room, pouting. I am sure sometimes he looks at me and just shakes his head like our parents must have looked at us as children.
I have no doubt that the Lord wants to give us good things. He wants to bless us and provide for us. But its remembering that his timing IS best. Its also remembering that its not always about what WE want or need. There are other people and their growth involved.
As I slowly unraveled the yarn last night, weaving the ball through the tangled mess, watching closely how I should move and how I shouldn't move, I slowly began to create a more stable, purposeful ball of yarn. I even had to put it down for the night while I rested, the job too big to tackle at once. In that process I got a practical glimpse at how God is weaving us together. How he is working out His will in our life. I thought about how at times I often get frustrated and pull too hard at the yarn or throw it down, creating a bigger less stable mess. In those moments in life, when I don't trust the maker, life seems much more overwhelming, purposeless, and daunting. But when I trust the unraveler to weave together the line that is my life, then life seems purposeful, manageable, even joyful.
This morning, as I read a devotional online, they spoke about waiting, reemphasizing my need to trust in the Lord's timing. As I spent time in prayer this morning following that, the Lord lead me to the following verses, reminding me, encouraging me, pleading with me to Trust in The Lord.
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14
I will wait for the LORD, who is hiding his face from the descendants of Jacob. I will put my trust in him. Isaiah 8:17
Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:4
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, Nahum 1:7
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6