Life (overall) is pretty easy and fantastic compared to most people in the world. I get that, but I am really ready to have normal back. I am ready to have my routine back. The one where I work 2 days in the office, three at home. For the last several weeks life has been too unpredictable. I haven't known what was going to happen in a given week and I am realizing my personality doesn't like that long term. First with the sudden labor of my dear friend and watching their kids, then a trip to see my parents, then the loss of my grandma and the loss of my roommate/best friend's grandma, then jury duty and now sickness and jury duty.
I am not complaining or trying not to at least. I like that I have a life that can be flexible, that can be of help to people. Half of the things mentioned above I was happy to do or be a part of but quite honestly, I need a normal week or two where I know what's going to happen. One where I can make plans or not make plans. One where I can go into the office and see my staff and not feel rushed or out of sorts. One where I can make plans for my shop, my blog and yes even writing.
What I am trying to do, in my human effort, is get a grasp as to why 1) its getting to me 2) why some things happen all at once 3) what and where does God want me?
I am in a place where I am blind to what He is doing. Mostly because I have let myself get there but I also think he has me in a place of purpose, I am just not sure what that purpose is and how I can make it known.
I am not complaining or trying not to at least. I like that I have a life that can be flexible, that can be of help to people. Half of the things mentioned above I was happy to do or be a part of but quite honestly, I need a normal week or two where I know what's going to happen. One where I can make plans or not make plans. One where I can go into the office and see my staff and not feel rushed or out of sorts. One where I can make plans for my shop, my blog and yes even writing.
What I am trying to do, in my human effort, is get a grasp as to why 1) its getting to me 2) why some things happen all at once 3) what and where does God want me?
I am in a place where I am blind to what He is doing. Mostly because I have let myself get there but I also think he has me in a place of purpose, I am just not sure what that purpose is and how I can make it known.
This is the story of my life!! I think there is a beautiful blessing wrapped up in times of chaos like this. We are strengthened in our reliance on God to get us through, we realize the truth that though we desperately want it, we are not in control, and if we embrace it we can learn how to rest in Him during these times, allowing Him to carry us through instead of relying on our own coping methods. If we'll press into Him he will uphold us when the burden is heavy - and before you know it the time will have passed and you will have emerged more deeply rooted. I'm praying for you and Ashley too. I know it has been a stressful time - that lull in the action will be there before you know it!! <3 <3
ReplyDeleteHugs friend!! I know how much I hate having life throw curve balls so i feel for you! Hoping that you get a break very soon!! Love you and praying for you!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI have been dealing with a similar situation for about eight weeks now, from my car beig broken into in an unfamiliar city to losing a grandparent. It's a mess, but I've learned how to grow from it despite the frustrations. Keep your head up!
ReplyDeletePs- I found your blog via bloglovin, which I just joined. It seemed like we had some similar struggles so I added you to my list. Feel free to do the same to me.