I realized this month that many of my friends & followers don't know the name of my blog... Some think its Single Doubt. Some think its Singledoubt. Some have other ideas.
I thought I'd take the time to explain not only the name of the site but also why it was chosen.
The name Singledou[b]t is a play on words. Its actually both "Single Doubt" and "Singled Out", hence the [b].
When I was
16 years old I thought, like most teenagers, that I would be married by 22,
kids by 26 and happily ever after. When 22 happened and passed as did the three
year relationship I was in, I still thought I had time. Now I am 36 and husband
and kids seems like a light that is about to go out, I often find myself
doubting the one constant dream I have had for my life. But still in what often feels
like the death of a dream, I am finding hope in my relationships and in my
community.
As single
people, you often find yourself being singled out, whether by expectations of others
or expectations of yourself. Your married friends try and reassure you that
there is someone out there for you. “In God’s Timing” they say or “You’re still
young, you have plenty of time” but its hard to hold onto those statements when
moment after moment, relationship after relationship, you find yourself
without. Just when you begin to feel comfortable with who you are and where you
are, someone decides to question the path you are on. You get statements like
“Is there someone special in your life? Or What are you doing to get yourself
out there?” Its statements like that that begin to creep into your psyche and
make you doubt the path you are on and the God who is guiding you. People don’t
realize how those little statements can cut to the core. Its like telling a
young girl, “I wouldn’t eat that donut.” Its subtle statements like those that can make you question just who you are.
As a Christian female, we are already
singled out because of our faith, especially in New York City. Being a believer
makes you somehow weak or limited in the eyes of so many. Being a strong
confident woman can begin to feel like a chore, add onto that the expectation
to date and have a family. Its somewhat safe in NYC to be single at 30 because
its the norm, or rather more of the norm then where I am from. But being single
amongst Christians, that’s a little more difficult. Add onto the fact that your
sphere of influence doesn’t just mean NYC, its the people in the other corners
of the world.
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I just wish you to be happy every day, no matter what!
ReplyDelete(and I hope that my English are correct)
I know what you mean about being a Christian female and being singled out for it. I live in Chicago, and people assume all sorts of stereotypes about me for being Christian. I think people are really just scared of strong, confident women. People think that "the goal" in life is to get married and have kids, but that's not necessarily the case.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more of your blog and your journey. Just started following you from the Aloha Friday Blog Hop and would love a follow back! Thanks :)
--Becky
preppypremed.blogspot.com
I love your blog and just started following! Check out mine!!
ReplyDeletehttp://thebellabordeaux.blogspot.com/
xo
NIkki