Need for More

I find myself really wanting to be challenged more.  Now, that being said, I am in a season where I am being more challenged then any other time in my life... OK well maybe I wouldn't go that far but lets just say that being challenged isn't far from me.  That being said, I feel as if i am not maximizing the gift I have been given in these challenges.  I feel like instead of using this opportunity to grow and learn, I am just riding the waves watching the scenery go by.  I am not engaging.

I am trying to figure out how to engage with the challenges I am facing.  They consist of personal, emotional, sometimes physical and definitely spiritual aspects.  I am seeing peoples lives changing, some for the good, some for the worse.  Some of those changes are directly affecting my life and the lives around me.  I am rummaging through this career transition and where its leading me and why.  In some respects I feel stuck.  Not stuck as in I can't get out, but stuck as in I am not sure where to go from here.  In all of these situations, I am seeing that I need to make steps. Sometimes the steps are clear and sometimes they are not. Sometimes they mean i have to let go of the control. Sometimes they mean I need to take control... All the while, trusting God to walk with me in this... or rather trusting myself to join Him in what he's already doing.

I want to be challenged...but more then that I want to give in to the challenges and triumph over them.  I want to learn. I want to grow.  I want to stop being still. I want to stop letting life pass by me.