Friday, August 5, 2011

I'll Just Be Honest - Part 2

The other day, I posted Part 1 of "I'll Just be Honest". I am not sure where the thoughts came from. You never know with me where anything comes from. As I was writing things down, I thought of things that I think or feel about myself,  but I also thought about those things that i think others think or feel about me.  The list got super long.  It, quite honestly, could get even longer. So here goes part 2. Maybe 3 will follow shortly.  These are meant to be somewhat humorous and partially thought provoking. Let me know your thoughts.  

I am deathly afraid of mice.  The smaller and the quicker, the louder I shriek. I know that they are harmless and sometimes cute but in my apartment, in my kitchen, you'd think I thought they were Satan's spawn out to get me and make me their dinner...

I am better at beating myself up then you will EVER be.  You think I don't remember what I said or did or could have said or done?  I do.

I think that I have the best BEST Friends in the world! I am lucky to have three women in my lifetime who have transformed my life beyond words.  My current roommate/Best Friend/long lost sister is one of my most favoritest people in the entire world... Tied with my amazing and oh so talented nephew.  

It kills me that I can't wrap my mind around mental illness. I know too many people plagued by one illness or another.  I try to fit them all in a box just to have that box blow up just when I think I have it figured out.  If I could eradicate any illness, I might pick that one.... Just being honest.

As much I am in love with and married to New York, I miss life on the outside. I often wonder what dreams would be realized if I left... OMG, I said that out loud? Don't worry, I am not ready to go anywhere... remember, I said married to New York (and I don't believe in divorce) ;)

Although I love photography, I want it on my own terms, with my own expectations and boundaries. I hate it when I have to go outside of what I find as comfortable, especially when it means involving meeting strangers.  Seriously, they freak me out.

I have a really bad memory... I mean like your grandmother who forgets what she was just telling you type of bad memory. Ok maybe not that bad. I am being a tad dramatic.  But it’s bad.  I will forget 8 times out of 10 what I was on my way to do. If I don't make a list, I will forget to get that item, even if it was the soul reason I went shopping in the first place. I can read the same line 20 times and still not tell you what it said.  If I don't take notes, I won't remember the details.  But while taking notes, I often can't remember what was just said 2 seconds ago. 

I have a love/hate relationship with running. I love to run.  But when it actually comes time to the run, I want nothing to do with it and will swear at running until I am actually running. Still, even through the first mile, I am cursing the act.  It’s in the 2nd mile that I get my grove. If it’s a short run, I never really get over that hate.  If it’s a long run, I am at peace with the run at about mile 3 until about mile 6 or 7. 

I am really bad at responding to emails. It honestly goes back to the memory thing.  If I don't respond at the moment the email comes in then remembering to email back in appropriate span of time is impossible.  With smart phones, you see an email come in immediately but you can't always immediately respond. Just cause the message can get to you doesn't mean you are ready to receive it. My problem is when I am actually in front of my computer.  I forget among the others I have to respond.  I remember when I am out and about doing something totally unrelated to emails and responding to emails.  

What are some observations you have about who you are how people might perceive you?  What are some things you love about how you were made and who you are?  These posts are not just picking out negative aspects, but rather reflecting on who you are and the way you are made. Sometimes, you see the flaws and sometimes you just celebrate the strengths.  Reflecting on them makes you more aware of who you are, how you were made, and where you struggle.  It doesn't make you weaker by highlighting your weaknesses. I believe it just makes you stronger, as you move past them.

I have had a friend call me on some of my earlier statements.  I love the challenge of growing deeper and stronger in who Christ has made me.  I am not afraid to confront my demons... Don't be afraid to confront them with me!

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