An Up & Down Kind Of Week

Its hard to believe last week was my birthday.  I had intended to write up a post last week about it but had some bad news which lead to some distractions... I'll get to that later.   

I first just wanted to share about my great birthday!  It was a pretty awesome day.  My best friend/roommate took the day off and spent it spoiling me.  

First, we went to the Harry Potter Exhibition in Midtown.  We both enjoy the books and the movies so this was a nice little treat.  Its a great little museum if you are in the city.  

Then we went to Schnippers. Its a great little restaurant near Times Square that has great sweet potato fries, mac n cheese and a chocolate peanut butter shake.... mmm. I am hungry now just thinking about it.

The rest of the day was more chill.  Ashley made her Birthday tradition, Magnolia Bakery Banana Pudding. I prefer this over a cake any day :)  It makes such a big batch that I just finished it yesterday.  My roommate had to go out of town on Wednesday so I basically ate the whole thing... but luckily over 7 days.

Later that night, we had dinner with some of my favorite women in New York. It was a great relaxing evening at one of our local restaurants, Le Cheile.

The next day my beautiful staff got me some Baked By Melissa Cupcakes. I am totally in love with these guys! Needless to say I am hopped up on sugar!

Wednesday began a whole new type of week for me.  As my roommate was about to leave for a trip home for her grandmother's funeral, I got a phone call that my grandmother passed away.  My grandmother's health had been declining for years and in many respects this wasn't a surprise but in some ways it was.  Her passing  hit me in a way that i wasn't expecting. 

 I think that compounded with some other issues sent me into a little bit of an emotional tailspin. 

I am not able to go to the funeral which is today in Illinois.  I wish more than anything that I could be with my family saying goodbye to my sweet grandma but life didn't allow that this time.  I am happy that my grandma is in a better place. She hasn't been herself for a long time but I still will miss her.

So that's a glimpse into my week.  

While you are here, stop by Big Apple Mami, and check out my guest post centered around my little bitty shop, City Girl Creations.  I am giving away $20 credit to shop!

Fears, Oh My!

In an effort to exercise my writing muscles, I've decided to take on the 30 Days of Blogging Prompts. I got the idea from Brooke from Covered in Grace (30 Days of Blogging Prompts) who got the idea from @ Lashes & Beard. Today I am doing "Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and describe how they became fears."

This one is sort of a struggle to write not because of the fears but because I am not really sure what they are... at least not legitimate fears.

MICE
Sounds silly, right, that I am afraid of mice. Now, I am not afraid of mice that have been pets or caged up. At least I don't think that I am. But I am afraid of the ones who hang out in my kitchen and scurry around in the dark looking for food that is not theirs to eat.

I live in NYC and having mice in your apartment is pretty likely no matter where you live or how clean you are. My last apartment had an infestation. They had done construction on the basement that I think must have stirred up a colony of mice. To top that the apartment right next door had been under construction for the entire 4 years I lived there. So I think they migrated up the 5 flights and decided to make my apartment and that gutted apartment theirs. We had weeks where we saw 1 or 2 a day. Our landlord refused to do much more than give us sticky traps.... so in turn i killed 1 or 2 a day... i am not kidding. So this made me a little jumpy. The straw happened when i was in my room and my hangers started moving on their own. Yes they made it to my room. I moved out soon after. In my current apartment we have had a problem too but not to the extent as before. They show up for a week or so and then disappear for 3-6 months. Its usually a tiny little guy that lives in and on our stove.

Still i am afraid of them. I am more afraid of how sneaky they are. I am afraid that i will step on them or that they will scurry up my leg. Not rational and I know it! Yet I am still afraid.


DEATH OF A PARENT
Over the last few years the reality that my parents are getting older is becoming more real. In the grand scheme of things they are still young. Most people live to be in their 80s but they are reaching ages where the risks are higher and the reality is, well, more real. With my mom's health scare this year, it has become even more obvious that I am not promised to have them forever. The fear of losing them is becoming a daily thing lately. I often find myself wanting to call them every day just to make sure they are OK and doing well. I also find myself wanting to play parent to them. I want to beg them to take very good care of themselves. Not in judgement but purely out of fear that i could one day lose them. I watch my mom struggle with taking care of her ailing mother (95) and hope that I get to do that with her one day. I know that's not ideal for my mom but I hope that I have plenty more years to be with her.


NOT HAVING A FAMILY OF MY OWN
I am turning 37 soon and the reality that I will be single and childless for the rest of my life gets more real every year. I won't go into it too much here but this is an overwhelming fear of mine.  I legitimately want a family. I am not overly proactive nor do I complain about my current status much but it is a fear on mine that is very real.  You can read a little more about this here.

What are some of your fears?  If you've written a post about it, link them up below in the comments section. I'd love to hear them!

Have a great week!

The C Word

We all know someone who has or has had cancer.  And many of us can distinctly remember the time we were given the news that one of our loved ones had been diagnosed.  And some of you remember the day the doctor told you that it was you that had cancer.

The news rips through you like an electric current as you absorb the facts.  Before you are told the real truth your mind goes there. You picture the person slipping through your fingers.  I known many many people who have had and died from cancer.  I can't even count on my hands.  I watched my best friends lose mothers, sisters, fathers from this aweful disease.  It never gets easier to hear the news.

Recently I got a phone call from someone very close to me telling me they have cancer.  It was someone who means the world to me.  Someone whom I love more than almost anything on this planet.    Before they had the chance to give me the facts, I had them (in my head) dying before my eyes.  As the facts were spelled out, a breath of relief washed over my body.  They weren't dying.  They had the "good" cancer.  The kind that would more than likely be treated with surgery.  The kind that is so slow growing it was unlikely it got anywhere that was dangerous.  I found myself relieved that they got the good cancer.  The good cancer.  How is it that those two words can go together.  Cancer is never good.  It is an ugly ravaging disease.  For many people its a sneaky time bomb waiting to steal, kill and destroy.  It takes babies, children, mothers, fathers, sisters. It does not have prejudices.  It does not wait for anyone.  I hate cancer! At whatever level, the "good" kind or not.  

What the C word has given me this time around is a renewed sense of how short and unstable this life can be.  People can be ripped from us without warning.  Whether its by cancer, car accidents, heart attacks or freak weather occurrences.  So I encourage you to hug the people closest to you.  Tell them you love them.  SHOW them you love them.  Don't wait until something forces your hand.  Why wait?  Do it today.  Tell your mom that you love her. Thank her for all the hours of sleep she lost because of you.  Grab your dad's hand, look him in the eye and say thank you for all the hours he worked to give you all that you have.  Look your spouse in the eye and tell them what makes them your favorite!  Call your best friend.  Tell him/her why you love them.  Write them a card.  Send them a text.  I dare you. I double dog dare you!  Yeah I said it :) 

 I am not losing my person today because of cancer but I realized in all of that that I could have been.  There is no guarantee that I won't lose someone close to me tomorrow to something else.  

I am not sure why I woke up today needing to say this out loud so forgive me if on the day after a big election or the week after a deadly storm this seems random or out of place but for some reason it needed to come out of my mouth and into a post.

Thanks for listening!

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